You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2008.
Recently, Google bought up Blogger.
It’s been nice, I can use gmail, blogger, google documents
all without numerous logins and stuff
But remember that big scuffle?
Where Google was complying with the Chinese government to make sure dissidents and material frowned upon by the chinese gov’t would never be found in Chinese searches?
With the new Patriot Act how are we to trust Google?
Does my blog appear on searches outside of my home city?
We read about so many countries that block activist pages, we believe we have freedom and freedom of speech,
But what if it is all bullshit?
What if “democratic” countries are surreptitiously blocking activist/dissident opinions?
Keeping them in little sandboxes, where they appear to be heard, to those nearby
but in actuality, its almost impossible for someone to find their writings
Think about it.
When someone gets a particular Label attached to them by one gov’t
perhaps everything is automatically squirreled away
I wonder about it often.
As the man said:
“Freedom of speech? That’s the motherfucking bullshit…
You say the wrong thing, they lock your ass up quick…”
- Ice T
Someone asked me why this blog is so much like a diary.
Well it was never meant to be, I was going to put up my serious articles, poems, books, art.
But now I figure I’m going to die here in Vancouver,
a victim of the pre-Olympics poverty pogrom. The final stage of the “inevitable” right wing conversion of Kanada to a new and glorious subServant State of the Great American Shit conglomeration.
In the future, when they study the social cleansing mentality of early 21st century Canada, this will be a blight as dark as our railroads built on slave labor, or our death camps for orientals, or residential schools run by pedophiles, or forced sterilization of mental patients, or illegal LSD brainwashing experiments on mental health patients. The selling of mental health institutions to well connected political supporters for condo-conversion, and the subsequent “mental health problem” of former patients now criminalized and destitute. Look it up, they’re all well documented, we’re not quite the civilized society our gov’t projects with it’s state sponsored monopoly media machinery.
Maybe I’ll make it to a footnote.
One more dead artist/writer who should have just been happy licking boots.
I’ve said it before.
Rapists, murderers, thieves, get 3 square meals and a roof over their head.
People who don’t have a home but are honest and don’t steal, starve and sleep in the rain
in Glorious and Free Canada.
Our value system is all fucked up
don’t you think?
Unfortunately, even though I’m about to get an operation in about 1.5 months, and after the operation I’m going to be in a wheelchair possibly, and not able to do normal walking about shit for about 3-4 months, it doesn’t seem to help me get a place to sleep.
But if I killed someone, or raped someone, or stole a car, I’d have a home tonight. I’d laugh if my guts didn’t hurt so much. Time for one of those T3’s. Which should I choose? Of those options? They ARE options right? I’m running out of honest ones, and I ran out of patience a looooong fucking time ago.
You know, I wonder if Jesus himself would like what we do to the poor and medically hurt? Would he be happy with our priorities ?
You there, the police officer “investigating” this flea who dares to speak
As you walk about and drive about the next few days, interacting with the sludge of society, imagine that robed and bearded hippie standing beside you during each interaction you have with them. With each person you talk to, imagine him beside you, reacting. What are his reactions? Be honest, or you won’t absorb the true benefits of the mental excercise.
The people that run various gov’t funded “service” providers drive their SUV’s around, while the organizations actually feeding, housing, and healing people barely scrape by on philanthropy.
I think the Dude would actually throw a tantrum, similiar to that moneylender snit he’s famous for.
———-
Under the 3 Bridges…..
I went to a little general practice clinic.
In less than 20 minutes, my ACL and hernia had specialist referrals, my toe had also been looked at, and my paperwork for Social services to inform them of these things was completed.
12 miles of WALKING and 3 visits to Three Bridges clinic for the exact same health issues and I got nothing but BS psych analysis without any physical exam.
I went elsewhere in frustration and got it assessed in 20 minutes.
I went back to 3 Bridges and talked to someone in a program, the only one in BC, that helps people with various gender health issues. They mostly help people who are “switching”, which I definately have no intention of doing(My weenie is fine and I definitely don’t want it chopped OFF, of course I wish it were a bit more”impressive”, and I look too much like a football player to think I’d suit a dress, ugh, anyway I’m digressing….), but they know the specialist I need for my particular doodad I was born with. I’ve tried contacting them about 15 times. Just a machine. Someone not in their office took the time to talk to me and I finally, after 4 months had a doctors name that specializes in various things, one of which is Intersex anatomical health issues. So I switched my doctor at 3 bridges. We’ll have to see. It should have taken 4 minutes not months to get that name.
I didn’t even want to go there. I had the most distressing, inconsiderate, condescending bullshit experience of my life going there before, but apparently you have no choice in BC, you must submit to a humiliating interrogation to get medical attention if you have anything mutated on your body. I really feel safe. Not. But the hernia and this issue are interrelated so what do I do?
I think these blocks are in place so people will just die, then they won’t have to bother.
They can focus on the rich then.
They really want it to fail, because there’s so much fucking money in medicine if you don’t waste your time on people without credit cards.
Since I’ve been lugging my pack around, walking and walking, hernia complaining all the while, I’ve stressed my insides badly, so I went to the emergency at VGH, I wasn’t sure I could go 2 weeks. It hurt.
Obviously I’m not insane. As I keep trying to tell every fucking paperwork peon in my path.
I was given anti-inflammatory medication for my hernia and more T3’s than I’ve used in my life.
If we don’t get back to federally regulated medicare soon, we’ll have people dying on the hospital steps or losing their houses to pay for having a baby, like those smarty-pants down south.
The Clock
I am the clock
with the face of a liar
who tells you he knows
things he cannot hope
to percieve
“the time is now…”
I tell you
speaking of broken pieces of eternity
infinite shards
in an everlasting plain of glass
that pierce the atoms
of my skull
(From “Early Poems” – 1980 – C. Taylor)
In the Mirror
I saw a face
that was not mine
an image
that was you
and yet
I see a dream
In the Mirror
I loved a soul
as cold as glass
your spirit
consumed in fires
of quiet strength
unleashed
I melted like the mirror
and yet
I did not burn
(From “Early Poems” – 1980 – C. Taylor)
The Skeleton Maze
I stand on the corner
and watch you walk by
my hand is outstretched
and so is my pride
My heart tears inside
Sometime I feel that its too much
I try to survive
keep my head above water
see all these chains,
I cry out with anger
I watch all your faces
as you rage at these structures
My heart tears inside
The cold seeps into
my bones
always
so
alone
Trapped in the skeleton maze
of our past civilizations
our young are the slaves
of our
corporations
My heart tears inside…
- C. Taylor
[ From "A Voice of Dissent" 1988]
Listen to the song here:
http://radio3.cbc.ca/bands/A-Voice-of-Dissent—Archetripal/
and yes, it is me doing the freaky styley hendrix guitar scream…
I have to find the link,
but you can find references for it I’m sure
About ten years ago,
at one of those big universities with large psychology dept.’s
MIT or Harvard, something like that
They did a study.
A whole whack of students were chosen as the test subjects.
They were tested beforehand, all were COMPLETELY sane.
Tests out the bloody wahoo
So they take this mob of SANE people
and send them off to the various hospitals in town to book themselves in
after a short course in how to APPEAR schizophrenic.
They wanted to see how a normal person would be discovered through the process.
Years later,
even after every hospital and clinic was made aware of the fact
that these people had never been ill at all,
the students who participated were still getting treated as if they were mentally ill
any time they went to any hospital for any kind of regular health problem.
Or applied for jobs.
YEARS later. A DECADE later,
the stigma of that label still followed them, even though they were never actually crazy.
It’s an insidious thing, and it creeps throughout the system.
And the system through which it creeps is much larger than you think.
I always found that story very disturbing.
Don’t you?
Long ago, if a man married a rich woman,
all he had to do to get her money,
was tell another male doctor she was insane.
She’d never get out, and he’d be rich.
So
I have to go back to get my paintings
back to 3358 Wellington Ave in Vancouver
To get my airbrush works
which represent 20 years of work and struggle
My 20 or so cassettes
master tapes of old songs I created
memories
It kind of sucks.
I’d like to get my computer back, my harmonicas and their rack, my dean markley acoustic pickup
my 2000 DVD disks with all kinds of media i’ve been collecting.
Years of reasearch, utilities and music
things I can’t replace
I’d like to put them all on a single hard drive someday
instead of dvds
But I know I’ll probably not get any of it back.
I might get some of the paintings
the ones that haven’t been ripped up or ripped off
I have to get a police officer to go
so I won’t have to forcibly take them
funny eh?
I haven’t even got cab fare to get the monitor for the computer
I’ll have to carry it all on my back and in my hands
30 blocks to a place I can store it for a little while
out of the rain
I study a lot of different religious beliefs from around the world,
the ideas, lives, and the changes in what many Great Teachers have said.
I think a lot of it is bohunk. But there’s lots of little gems of the spirit in there.
The whole White Robed White Man God floating above the little ant farm he created in seven days really doesn’t do it for me.
But Jesus, the man on earth, the poor wanderer, the Great Teacher,
he’s actually a pretty cool cat in my books.
I have quite a few of my own Jesus stories that I’ve written over the years,
and I’m going to share them with you, one at a time.
Of course any time you talk about Jesus outside of Orthodoxy, you are a Heretic
But I actually like being a Heretic.
Because if you think about it, Jesus was a Heretic to what the priests of his time were saying.
He was poor, he was looked down upon by the Suits of his time,
he was a Rebel.
Yet the rich hypocrites who fill churches today, SUV’s in the parking lots, singing praises to the Great Teacher.
Most of them would spit on him when he supposedly “comes again”
Because when Jesus “comes again”, if he ever does, He won’t be in an SUV, he won’t be in the opulent buildings they’ve built to glorify his dying, he won’t be invited to breakfast with the Pope,
Just like before, he’ll be wandering around, sleeping outside, volunteering at food lines so he can eat, in his sandals, with his long hair, without a real job.
In fact, contrary to the moral position of the self righteous who claim authority to put words in his mouth,
He’ll probably be in a park, drinking some wine, sharing a sandwich with some peaceful people, smoking a joint, bitching about how society wants him to flip burgers and lick rich ass.
And those Bankers of course.
We could make beds and MRI’s and even absolutely free dental and eyecare for everybody
For ten years
for the same amount as we’re going to bail them out for
It’s a distorted and twisted culture ripoff
this thing called
money
He’ll be bitching about the hypocrites in their churches who give bibles to poor people, instead of soup and a place to sleep.
Fundamental nourishment
We’ll feed children in Sudan breakfast
but fuck the human trash in our own skid rows
give that smelly do-gooder hippie
a shower
and hand him a fucking burger flipper and apron
Don’t you think?
Just got a one day gig for an event production company as a tech.
It pays 7 bux more than I made at Atlantis. Just one day though.
Funny eh?
I think it’s kind of messed up….
Running cables, wiring up a live event console, connecting configuring testing old beat up live event video gear,
Pays more than packing up image sequences on a $20, 000 workstation for a multimillion dollar tv show.


